also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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