Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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