If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
