your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
