tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
