i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
