She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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