We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
