Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
