i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
