Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
