Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
