If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
