Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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