i'm signing you up for texting rehab
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ride that face into the sunset
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize