Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
