ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize