I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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