He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
