I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
