Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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