I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
