I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
