You just made me feel so damn special
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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