I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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