week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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