I'm jealous of your bromance
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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