ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
