They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
