Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
