they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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