wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
