i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
