does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i would punch a child for taco bell
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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