im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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