There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
