dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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