Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
