That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
