she woke up with a sticky ear
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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