She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
