Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
