Say something about gay babies.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
