May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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