why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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