i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
