you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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