Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I understand Curling. That high.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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