wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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