My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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