Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
