she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
