I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
