Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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