there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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