You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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