I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
