Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
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i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Who died my cat blue again?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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