i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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