Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
